The Roti Maker Turned Cartographer

Kanchan was babbling away while rolling out rotis in the kitchen. I watched from the dining table, which often doubles as a writing table. When craning my neck in her direction, I gasped.

The shape of the rotis sent me into a tizzy. All the maps of the world were there!

“What is wrong with you?” I croaked, one eye on Kanchan, the other on the laptop screen.  Although I felt like yelling, I controlled my urges – with our moody Maid in India species, you can’t take chances.

“Wrong? Nothing.”

“Your rotis are all crooked.”

“My mother-in-law again fought with me.”

“Does that justify the crooked rotis?”

“My mother-in-law is very crooked. She is a great gossip monger, a chugalkhor [a tattler], and a kaamchor [a sloth]! Crooked woman!”

“That in no way justifies your rolling out crooked rotis,” I remarked, my voice edged with anger. My pet peeve is that even when I am scolding her, she thinks I am joking and breaks into peals of laughter, and my daughter’s pet peeve is that I don’t know how to scold! But I think I am quite good. Anyway, my scolding did not straighten the rotis or change their shape, or rather the lack of it.

These days, nonsense verse keeps spooling out of my mouth like a kitchen roll. While Kanchan gaped at me, the kitchen roll spooled out, and not for the first time during the day:

“I know a girl with a crooked Ma-in-law
She loves to croak, bellow, and claw.
She has a magic broom
that goes boom boom
When in her hands, she takes the law.”

“Uski awaaz bandook ki goli hai.” [Her voice is like the sound of gunfire.] Kanchan remarked wryly, giving the final touches to the maps.

“A crooked woman she is — a crooked woman! In dire situations, she can even wield the gun. She has clumsy ways, never does she praise any well-meaning man or a wise woman.”

“Huh?” Kanchan croaked, halfway between rolling out a map of Mali and inadvertently turning it into a map of Nigeria.

This Kanchan was new to me. A roti-maker morphing into a cartographer! Incredible! Strange are the ways of life. Had she lately been pursuing the study of maps?

“Did you say something about my Saas?” She asked, raising a quizzical eyebrow.

“Tum to uske bagair saans bhi nahi leti.” [You do not even take a single breath without her.] I quipped.

“Uske saamne to meri saans hi ruk jaati hai.” [In front of her, I forget to breathe.] She retorted.

“That is such a tall story, Kanchan. I think you are no less crooked.”

Under my reprimand, she quickly mapped her way out of our house, mumbling, “Kya jab saas bahu hoti hai, tab bhi aisi hi hoti hai?”

Morning Meanderings Season 4 – the weekly column by Santosh Bakaya

She immediately got her answer when her eyes fell on two women at the construction site. The younger one, who happened to be the daughter-in-law, was unleashing a barrage of accusations at her mother-in-law, who was sheepishly grinning and bearing it. Before going out, Kanchan had switched on the Sa Re Ga Ma Caravan, and it erupted into a song:

“Saas gaari deye… sasural genda phool.”

How I love this song! As soon as she went out of the house, I quickly opened YouTube and started watching the song and inadvertently started miming the actions of Abhishek Bachchan. There was some noise behind me. Kanchan, the scatterbrain, had once again forgotten her cell phone. When she saw me in action, she could not control her laughter and started clapping gleefully.

“That is excellent, now may I take my cell phone, Didi?” She said, smothering her giggles with her saree pallu. “If you are interested, come and watch the saas-bahu serial being staged outside.” She hurled this Parthian shot and was out of the door.

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About the Author

Santosh Bakaya ( 175 Posts)

Dr Santosh Bakaya is the author of three mystery novels for young adults, and a book of essays titled Flights From My Terrace, which was recently published as an e-book on Smashwords. Her poetic biography of Mahatma Gandhi, Ballad Of Bapu has been published by Vitasta Publishers, Delhi, India in May 2015 and has been receiving rave reviews from everywhere. Although a Political theorist, with a doctorate in political theory, it is literature which has been her first love. She was awarded the Reuel international award for language and literature 2014 for her long poem Oh Hark!, which forms part of the Significant Anthology. Many of her poems have figured in the highly commended category in Destiny Poets, a UK based website and many are part of international anthologies. Right now, she is giving the final touches to her satirical novel, tentatively titled Sanakpur Shenanigans.
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