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Sizzling Simian Spunk!

May 18, 2019 | By

A socially conscientious monkey gives two men lessons in appropriate social behaviour.

Morning Meanderings is a musings column by Dr Santosh Bakaya. Enjoy her jottings with a hot cup of tea. 🙂

Was a wannabe twiddling the knobs on a synthesizer? No, it was only a baby lapwing, still feeling its way around, not comfortable with its peewits. It was following its parents, with an unsure gait and a diffident bird vocabulary.

It seemed to be a day meant exclusively for the young ones of animals and birds. I was surprised to see a group of monkeys sitting on the wall fronting my house, where I had earlier been witness to many a street play, spiced with colourful vocabulary, high-decibel bellowing and grotesque gestures. Last night’s rain had created a few puddles here and there, and the monkeys were having a gala time admiring their reflections in the puddles.

In the miniature garden outside his house, opposite the wall, a very cantankerous man, sporting a huge frown on his face and a week-old stubble, was watering his flower beds. From the wall, a tiny monkey baby watched him keenly. As I walked a little further, I suddenly stopped in my tracks, as a loud hullaballoo fell into my ears.

The baby monkey crept behind him furtively and snatched the watering hose from his hands. While he bellowed his guts out, the baby monkey, mimicking him, started watering the plants. The man let out a string of expletives, all the time wringing his hands in despair. The monkey carried on his mission with an exemplary unflappability. Not looking here or there, only at the flower beds. Not even at the man-porcupine who was now openly flinging quills of indignation at him.

Morning Meanderings by Dr Santosh Bakaya

Morning Meanderings by Dr Santosh Bakaya

But I was looking at the monkey’s expressions, wondering how it would have reacted had it realized the meaning of words that the man was so generously hurling at it.

Uloo ka pathha! Pipe dey vaapis!” (Son of an owl! Give me back the pipe) He snarled and hissed. The monkey baby being called an owlet! Demeaning indeed!

A reclusive old woman, whose sons had settled abroad, and who had herself settled to a life of the mundane in the house next to the porcupine-man, and at that precise moment had come to replenish the bird feeder in her patch of green, saw the scene and let out a delightful giggle. The man threw a disapproving look at her, continuing to mouth expletives. Unfazed, the monkey kept up the good work.

But, then, suddenly the apple cart was upset. The monkey had sighted another man, who, probably, had a very weak bladder, heading purposefully towards the wall. Although his house was just a stone’s throw away, this weak-bladdered man had taken upon himself the task of relieving his watery wealth against the wall.

Losing not a moment, the socially conscientious monkey ran towards him, the water pipe, aimed at him. I watched in bemused glee as the man ran helter-skelter in haste, stumbling, tumbling, zipping up his trousers, dashing towards his house, still fumbling with the zipper. And crumbled on a belligerent looking dog, lounging on the road.

The dog-king fallen on bad days, suddenly seemed to be catapulted to its royal days. What followed is anyone’s guess.

And the moral of the story?

Well, it’s written on the wall. 🙂

Watch this space for more Morning Meanderings every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. 🙂

Click to read all Morning Meanderings here.

Dr Santosh Bakaya is the author of three mystery novels for young adults, and a book of essays titled Flights From My Terrace, which was recently published as an e-book on Smashwords. Her poetic biography of Mahatma Gandhi, Ballad Of Bapu has been published by Vitasta Publishers, Delhi, India in May 2015 and has been receiving rave reviews from everywhere. Although a Political theorist, with a doctorate in political theory, it is literature which has been her first love. She was awarded the Reuel international award for language and literature 2014 for her long poem Oh Hark!, which forms part of the Significant Anthology. Many of her poems have figured in the highly commended category in Destiny Poets, a UK based website and many are part of international anthologies. Right now, she is giving the final touches to her satirical novel, tentatively titled Sanakpur Shenanigans.
All Posts of Santosh Bakaya

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2 thoughts on “Sizzling Simian Spunk!

  • Arun gupta

    Ha ha. Superb. Everytime I will see a man donating his watery wealth on the streets, I will remember this story. My eyes would start searching for a monkey and a hose pipe.

    The phrase watery wealth should reach the ears of some Bollywood director. Its hindi avatar will get quite famous.what would it be’Geeli Daulat’?

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