Hindi films have built up a reservoir of stock dialogues, much like canned music. We collected a bunch of lines that crop up in every other Hindi film. We know them by heart and yet never get tired of them. Even if you are walking down the road and you hear a dialogue floating out of the window nearby and you would know exactly which scene is rolling. That’s the magic of our movies!
Come, add your favourites…!
If you are a true Bollywood movie fan, you should have no trouble voting for the best eternal dialogues from our masala hits over the decades. The formula is pretty same as always – poor boy meets rich girl, arrogant rich dad of girl throws a fit, weepy mom of boy wails, villainous uncle plots to swindle the millions, boy falls into smuggling trap, girl goes in search of boy and ends up up in the clutches of the villain. Boy rescues girl, bashes villains, police arrives. A frantic last minute surgery. Family picture.
Now think of the dialogues that occur at some point of time in each potboiler churned out of the Bollywood mills. Here’s our shortlist:
Duniya ki koi taaqat hamein juda nahin kar sakti: (No power in the world can separate us) Love birds in any romantic movie, usually on a cliff top or in a temple
Beta, haath mooh dhokar khaana kha le (Son, wash your hands and face and eat food) Widowed poor mother of hero sewing by the kerosene lamp to her beloved son who swaggers in
Beta, chaand si dulhan le aa (Son, bring a moon-faced bride): Affectionate mother to coy son who has quite obviously found himself a girl
Dekho jee, yeh aap theek nahin kar rahe ho (listen dear, you are getting this wrong): Helpless mother to adamant father who is not willing to bend to the hero or heroine’s wishes
Maine tujhe issi liye paal-pos ke badaa kiya thha ke tu mujhe yeh din dekhaaye? (Did I bring you up to see this day) Furious dad to sulking heroine who has just conveyed that she wants to marry the hero
Mubarak ho! Tum baap banne wale ho (Congratulations, you are going to be a dad): Doctor to the hero after examining the heroine, a pulse reading is usually enough
Kutte, main tera khoon pee jaaoonga (Dog, I’ll drink your blood): Dharmendra with his flaring nostrils to every villain, who incidentally always happens to be an uncle
Chun chun ke maaroonga (will count and pick and choose and then kill) Dharmendra is easily the best with Math among the action heroes
Ma, aaj tumhe bataana hi padega ki mera baap kaun hai: (Mom, you must reveal who my Dad is): Amitabh Bachchan’s eternal line echoed by every “naajayaz” son since Laawaris
Jashn ki tayyari karo!: (Get ready for celebrations) Amrish Puri in Tridev and countless other films
Naheeeeen….!! Sprawled heroine to advancing villain
Khabardar jo usey haat bhi lagaya to! (Don’t you dare touch her): tied up hero to lecherous villain moving towards wailing heroine
Bhagwan ke liye mujhe chod do! (For God’s sake, leave me): struggling heroine to villain
Inspector sahab, giraftaar kar lo: (Inspector, arrest him): Hero to waiting policeman after bashing up villain. Typically the police waits for instructions before handcuffing the villain.
Iska to bahut khoon bahey chooka hai. Fauran operation karna padega! (He’s lost a lot of blood. We need to operate immediately) Doctor to the waiting folks, in front of a door labeled operation theater with a red bulb over it
Ab sabh kuch oopar waley ke haath mein hain! 24 ghante me hosh aa jana chahiye warna… (Everything is dependent on the Almighty): Exhausted doctor to the folks pacing in the hospital corridor
Aaj meri aankhen khul gayee: (Today my eyes have opened): Every arrogant dad in last scene
We can almost predict the dialogue before it is spoken in the formula masala movies and yet we never cease to enjoy them! That’s the magic of Hindi cinema.
Babuji ki chhithi aayi hai (we got a letter from dad) gaon ki gori to her mother who is usually found stoking the chulha
Jaiye, aap bade woh hain (You are cho chweet) coy heroine batting eyelashes at her hero/jijaji teasing her
Maa, main pass ho gaya (Mom, I passed!) hero waving a newspaper to the mother who is busy either on the sewing machine or the chulha
Main BA me first class first aaya ma (I have topped my BA class, Mom!) (when the hero is studying BA no other guy can dare come first and the hero’s sidekick will of course, flunk)
Tum mujhe chhod ke nahin ja sakte. (You can’t dump me like that) desperate heroine to helpless hero who must leave her and go for whatever’s sake
Yeh shaadi nahi ho sakti (this marriage is out of the question) the final statement from the father who can never agree to the son/daughter’s choice of spouse
Maine tumhara rishta pakka kar diya hai aur agle hafte tumhari shaadi hai (I have fixed your marriage. You’re tying the knot next week) a severe looking father to the perplexed daughter who is most definitely in love with a guy the father doesn’t have a clue about
Main tumhare bachhe ki Maa ban ne wali hoon (I’m going to have your baby) 99% of the time the hone wali maa is not yet married to the hone wala baap
Kalmoohi, kahan muhn kala karke aayi hai? (K#@&%$, where have you blackened your face) furious mom to the daughter who has sneaked home in the dead of the night only to bump into her mom who is standing on the top of the long staircase arms akimbo
Main kisiko muhn dikhane ki layak nahi rahi (Can’t show my face to anyone) this dialogue can come from the heroine as well as her mom, depending upon who is in a bigger soup – the heroine because of her love affair in shambles or the mother because her daughter has put her in a fix
Hey bhagwan! Yeh din dikhane se pehle mujhe utha kyon nahin lia, (Oh God! Why didn’t you pick me up before showing me this day) Frantic mom after discovering her daughter is all set to be an unwed mother
Agar tumne Vijay se milne ki koshish ki to mera mara munh dekhogi! (If you even so much as look towards Vijay, you will see me dead) The final ultimatum as a last resort to stop Vijay ki premika from tying the knot with Vijay
Taalluk hai milord.. bohot hi gehra taalluk hai (there is a link my lord, a very very deep connection) aggressive lawyer in flowing robes in a packed courtroom to a bored judge whose only is to thump the hammer periodically and yell “order order”)
Main dekh sakti hoon maa… ab main dekh sakti hoon (I can see now, Mom, I can see now) post-operation as the thick bandage is removed from her eyes, the heroine bats her eyelids furiously and the camera pans across her folks pouring over her; the images change from blurred to soft focus to clear. You are not supposed to notice the eye shadow and liner on the heroine’s eyes.
Main tumhare bina nahin reh sakta (I can’t live without you) the most oft-repeated moth-eaten pick up line
Main tumhe zinda nahin chodoonga (I won’t let you remain alive) Struggling hero held by five goons yells at the gangleader who brandishes his latest trophies – the heroine and the hero’s family members including ma, bhabhi, bhatija/bhateeji, etc)
Ab hamare khandaan ki izzat tumhare haathon mein hai (all our family’s honour is hanging by a thread in your hands) slogan of laachaar pita, can be used in multiple situations – (1) the heroine’s father places his pagdi in front of the hero who is a guest in a shaadi ceremony which has suddenly hit the rocks and he must save the dulhan from humiliation (2) the heroine has got herself into a nice little soup and only the hero, and the hero alone can save her
Tumhare aankhon mein aansoo? Tum ro rahi ho (Your tears are about to spill over. Are you by any chance crying?) (the most unnecessary question when the heroine visibly is not chopping onions)
and the response to this dialogue usually is…
Yeh toh khushi ke aansoon hain (these are tears of joy, silly) the biggest myth – you can’t sob buckets when thrilled
Chhod do mujhe main mar jaana chahti hun (leave me, I’m planning to die) heroine at the edge of a cliff, struggling ever so gently so that the hero can easily hold her back
Bhagwan, maine aajtak tumse kuch nahin maanga (God, I don’t remember having asked much from you so far) the nastik hero who decides to ask a favor from god, making it sound as if he is doing a favor by coming to the temple
Main soch loongi ki mera koi beta tha hi nahi (If this is the mother speaking – from today we start thinking we never had a son)
Aaj key baad tum hamaarey liye mar chukey ho OR Aaj key baad hum tumhaarey liye mar chukey hain (If this is the father speaking – from today onwards we are as good as dead for you or vice versa)
The “farz ki pukar” super patriotism filmy ishtyle dialogues to the fauji son –
Ja beta ja, Bharat Mata ko teri zaroorat hai
Tera farz tujhe pukar raha hai
Mera sar fakr sey oonchaa ho gaya hai
Is gareeb baap key paas tujhe dene key liye aaj kuch bhi nahin hai (This poor father has nothing to give you) the poor father says with a shake of his head and an audible sob
The grateful son replies – “Nahin, aapka aashirwaad in heerey motiyon se bhi zyada keemti hai!” (Your blessings are more valuable than diamonds and pearls) and father promptly hugs son with louder sob
Bas beti, ab tu sambhal, mere toh araam karney ke din aa gaye/meri chinta door ho gayi! (Child, now you manage. My days of getting some rest are here. My tension is over) Mother-in-law handing over a huge set of keys in a chhalla to a new bride with the transfer of responsibility effectively meaning look here, now you manage this crazy household and let me enjoy some peace
Tumhara yeh ehsaan zindagi bhar nahi bhulenge! (I will never forget this favour all my life) lifelong commitment for remembering ehsaan and then promptly forgetting to earn the label of “ehsaan faramosh!”
Paida hote hi, maa ko khaa gayi! (the moment you were born, you ate up your mother) typical cruel Maami dialogue, standing near a tap with a huge pile of utensils to be washed by the hapless girl – wonder how a small household can use so many utensils fit for a marriage ceremony feast
Bahut koshishon ke bavajood hum maa ko bachaa nahi sakey! (Tried my best but could not save your mother) Doctor coming out of Operation Theatre and sending the waiting family into wails
Beta, aaj badi der kar di (Son, you are very late) Blind mother/ father as steps approach. Silence…!
In a more worried tone…
Beta, tu kuch bolta kyon nahi hai! (Son, why are you not speaking?) Fact of the matter is that the person approaching is never the beta. Its usually the hero or the police officer who has brought some bad news which the audience already knows
Ek din tum duniya ki nahi, apni nazaron mein bhi gir jaaoge, tab tumhe yeh din yaad aayega! (Untranslatable – you have to know Hindi to understand its impact) Friend/wife/parent in a sad disappointed tone. Usually at the receiving end is the wayward son, aka Prem Chopra
Tum…? Yahaan…? Itni raat gaye…? (You…? Here?… So late in the night?) 3 questions in quick succession. Situation – rainy night, urgent knocking on the door and a very awake looking hero opens the door to a dripping wet heroine. Note: her make up is perfect
Golee apna kaam kar chuki hai (the bullet has done its job!) Usually mafia don speak
Mujhe ek baar Maa keh kar bula de (Please, please, just once call me Mom!) Desperate mom to her abandoned/lost son whom she meets 20 saal baad
Yeh mill meri Maa hai (this factory is my Mother) the dedicated mazdoor
Isse sun ne se pehle main mar kyun nahi gayee (Why did I not pop off before hearing this?) Holding her hands to her ears, shaking her head vigorously, the pained mom, between sobs.
Bapu jaag jayenge (Dad will wake up) Heroine in a loud whisper only after Bapu has already woken up and is pretending to be asleep.
Ab inhen dawa ki nahin duaon ki zarurat hai (Your guy needs prayers, not medicines) Doctor washing his hands off the patient. Signal for family to go rushing to the temple.
Kaash tumhari Maa aaj zinda hoti (If only your Mom had lived to see this day) Typical Nazir Hussain dialogue when daughter announces she plans to marry the guy she loves
Tumhara khoon khoon, hamara khoon paani?! (Your blood is blood and our blood water??) A medical marvel no doubt.
Mein Geeta pe haath rakh kar kasam khataa hun kee jo kuch kahungaa sach kahungaa aur sach ke siwa kuch nahin kahungaa (I keep my hand on Geeta and swear that whatever I say will be the truth and I will say nothing but the truth). Sometimes I wonder if the judge would say – Geeta ko haazir kiya jaaye!
Jaldi jao koi dekh lega (Go quickly, someone will see us) Heroine in a loud whisper but only after her father/mausi has spotted her with her lover
Khud ko kanoon ke hawale kar do (Surrender yourself to law) The bored inspector dialogue – don’t make me work for my salary… arrest yourself
Mujhe kuch nahi hua hai beta mai theek hoon. ..(coughing furiously okkho okkho okkho)…. meri chinta mar kar. Tu apna khayal rakh. (Nothing has happened to me, I am fine. Don’t worry about me) Super sacrificing mom holding her throat and between furious coughs and gehri saans asking her son to go and take care of himself and not worry about her because she is ok – usually Sulochana or Leela Chitnis
Kya hum pehle kahi mil chuke hai? Maine aapko kahin dekha hai (Have we met before? I seem to have seen you earlier) famous first lines said together or separately always hits home – boy feigns ignorance/innocence and girl is all ready to tickle his memory.
Maa, tumhare haath ka banaya gajar ka halwa kitne din se nahi khaya (Bechara gaajar hi murjhaa gaya!)
Excuse me, kya ye rumaal aapka hai? (The most famous opening line of umpteen boy-meets-girl-for-the-first-time sequences apart from the cycle ki takkar or struggle in the train compartment for luggage space/berth)
Yeh Ganga ki tarah pavitra hai… (She is as pure as Ganga) the last character certificate given by the loser 2nd suitor to the hero before sacrificing his life
Three famous lines in quick succession when the typical “raeees” father invites the hero to dinner to flaunt his wealth, all because his buffaunt-wali daughter has had the “jurrat” to fall in love with the “maamuli” hero:
Yeh joote dekho…ek baar pehan leti hai to doobara nahi pehanti (Look at the shoes wardrobe – she never wears a pair more than once)
Yeh moorti maine france se mangwai thi (Only France makes expensive murtis)
Yeh reshmi kapde… tumhari mahine ki tankhwah se ek jodi kapde nahi aa sakte meri beti ke (Your full month’s salary is not enough for a silk dress for my daughter)
Tumhari maa mere kabze mein hai (Your mom is my hostage). The mom squeals and squirms and hero snarls and tugs at his ropes or drops his gun usually in a warehouse with barrels and boxes piled up or in a hi-fi ganglord’s chamber.
Iss desh ki mitti mujhe bula rahi hai (hugely patriotic call of the soil)
Doctor sahab aa gaye! (and the patient dies his head flopping to one side amid sweeping background music and doctor rushing in with his stethoscope dangling from his neck and a big doctor’s box in hand)
Driver .. Gaadi roko! (Driver, stop the car!) The driver immediately sits on the brakes and the car screeches to a halt and the passengers get thrown forward.
Haan milord haan! Main hoon gunehgaar. Magar mujhe gunehgaar banaya kisne? Is samaaj ne, Milord! (Yes, your honour, yes. I am a criminal. But who made me a criminal? This society, Milord!) The hero hanging over the railing of the witness box, appealing to a poker faced judge.
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