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Dual State

April 2, 2018 | By

A poignant poem dedicated to the lives of the individuals affected with bipolar disorder.

poem of struggle

Learning to cope to stay afloat

Walking the line
Between genius and madness
Suddenly losing functionality
Of the inbuilt self-regulating brain
Setting in motion a turbulent life

Love being manic
Fascinated by my flight of ideas
Taking me to the peak of my creativity
Impressed by my multitasking abilities
Intoxicated by my racing thoughts

The feeling of falling apart
The battle to emerge or be wiped out
Conflict between surviving instinct
And drowning in the ocean of sorrow
Proves exhausting to oneself

Hate being depressed
Crying constantly, slowing me down,
Inability to cope with simple tasks
Saps the wind out of me
Suicidal thoughts cloud my mind

Friends and colleagues
Have abandoned me
Avoided me like plague
I’ve learnt that they were shallow
Relatives refuse to see it as an illness

Pray and you shall be healed
Years of mantra that never crystallised
Fell on deaf ears, no magical cure!
Lost my faith and belief
Blurring my window of hope

People often advice
Just get over it, it’s not an illness
Voice within me shouts out
It’s not a decision, It’s a disorder!
Not a weakness to overcome

Money or fame can’t fix it
Your dreams vanish,
Plans disintegrate
A struggle for existence
A void consumes you

Helplessness seeks solutions
Medically tweaking brain chemistry
To sail through the misery
Lifting the depression
Arresting the mania

My struggles witness
The depths of darkness
Equips me with deeper compassion
Teaches me to take one day at a time
Learning to cope to stay afloat

I’ve nothing to hide
Continuing my flight
Between heaven and hell
World, wipe away your stigma and bias
To make my world a better place.

More to read

Blood Clots: A Poem

When a Jilted Heart Revolves to Rise

Unearthing Life

 

 

Beena Babu is an educationalist who has penned articles on school curriculum. Poetry was a medium that she explored using while working with students through meaningful integration of science and language. Her purposeful documentation of the teaching-learning process proved to be useful educational resources. Initially her writing drew from her vast professional experience with teachers as her primary audience. Some of her articles have been featured in newspapers. Gradually there was a shift towards writing poetry based on ideas that sparked off her creativity. She hopes to have a compilation of her poems completed soon.
All Posts of Beena Babu

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<div class=at-above-post addthis_tool data-url=https://learningandcreativity.com/motivational-quotes-unfold-myth/></div>“They're only crayons. You didn't fear them in Kindergarten, why fear them now?” 
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“They're only crayons. You didn't fear them in Kindergarten, why fear them now?” ― Hugh MacLeod