Cheating for Dummies!

by Shrinkhla Sahai

Life was one big party… until you remembered about the exam next day. Flash back — parties, movies, gala time, too much homework, too stressed out to study. Poing goes the bell — you’ve been lazy, the preparation is lousy… flunking?
Nooooo!
“A little bit of sneaking and peeping will do it,” you take a gulp of reassurance… and start preparing…

There are furras to be made and hid — the minutest, neatest possible. And then how ’bout some ‘academic tattoos’ on the palm or arm. How come they didn’t come up with ‘Cheating For Dummies’ or ‘Teach Yourself Cheating’… wouldn’t that be some bestseller!

You enter the Examination Hall. Scenario is scary, situation is tight, stomach is in knots.

You enter the Examination Hall. Scenario is scary, situation is tight, stomach is in knots. A chill of desperation goes down the spine as you gawk at the question paper. It asks you to define bizarre terms you’ve never heard of, explain weird phenomena occurring in some remote part of the world.

“What an irrelevant paper! It doesn’t really help you understand the real world and real problems… I mean it doesn’t guide me about latest fads or how to manage my love life!” So, you decide to rebel against the absurdity of the education system… when you notice fellow examinees scribbling away.

Unspeakable horrors invade the consciousness. You see it in golden… er… red letters — FAIL. Then teachers and parents will conspire to show you — ‘a misled teenager’, the illuminated path of knowledge… that means no allowance, no play, you’re grounded. Never!

Renewed with a fresh lease of frantic energy you start Operation Cheating. The God of Guilt starts his sermon. But in this tug-of-war between marks and morality you decide Marks are the need of the hour… morality can wait till you have the time, comfort and philosophy to practice it.

So, armed with a racing heartbeat, sweaty palms and desperate determination you nudge, poke and peep. Reach for that scrap down your sock and use every trick up your sleeve.

“If only I had made such beautiful notes and learnt them!” Too late buddy!
“Why is the invigilator constantly looking my way? Why am I laughing at myself?” Cut out the conscience!

You get the marks, but where was the effort, where is the achievement?

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