Ass of Somewhere

Gadha kahin ka!

It was one of the sultriest days of the season. Everyone seemed to be at the end of one’s tether. The joggers were walking as if they had been forcibly pulled out of their beds and shoved out of the house. Stooped shoulders, pallid hue, lackluster eyes and unsure gait. The weather had rendered them tongue-tied. But suddenly someone’s tongue let loose a string of hot invectives.

Who was at the receiving end?

“Gadha kahin ka!” (A literal translation would be ‘Ass of Somewhere’) It was the supervisor shouting at a construction worker. His jowls hung over his collar, and his paunch over his belt. The sunrays tangoed on his bald pate, and a couple of sun rays, tripped on the slippery surface and lay supine on his head, tickling him into bursting forth into another string of invectives.

A morose donkey plodding forth with lackluster steps suddenly stopped in his tracks and raised its head upward, letting out a string of brays. Maybe it was wondering whether there was ever a time when he was not given a bad name. The construction worker looked hurt and bewildered and the donkey gave out another bray — a long abrasive lament.

Jabbering sparrows stopped jabbering and looked askance at the donkey, not aware of the deep pain in his heart. I suddenly remembered Winnie the Pooh and that old, grey stuffed donkey, Eeyore, his friend.

“The old grey donkey, Eeyore stood by himself in a thistly corner of the Forest, his front feet well apart, his head on one side, and thought about things. Sometimes he thought sadly to himself, “Why?” and sometimes he thought, “Wherefore?” and sometimes he thought, “Inasmuch as which?” and sometimes he didn’t quite know what he was thinking about.”

A A Milne’s words flashed in my mind.

A  very tall man stood a little distance away, having an argument with his son. The boy was beseeching his father for some latest gadget. Getting inspiration from the acerbic tongue of the supervisor, the father burst out “Gadha kahin ka! Concentrate on your studies! Stop drooling over gadgets. Gadha kahin ka!” The boy looked stricken, probably wondering if he should reply, “Papa, gadha to yahin ka hai.” The donkey’s bray now became a plaintive dirge.

Morning Meanderings is a weekly musings column by Santosh Bakaya

Yesterday morning I was witness to two construction workers having a spat, their words liberally garnished with “Uloo ka pattha!” “Kyon mendak ki tarah tarr tarr ker raha hai. Gadha kahin ka!” His friend rebuked him for his garrulity. The aggrieved one gaped at him, perhaps wondering how a donkey could croak like a frog!

And at night, I heard a frog persistently croaking and an owl indignantly hooting. I was convinced that they had overheard the man in the morning, and at night were voicing their indignation at the insult. The canine pet in the neighbour’s house was whimpering too.

Today morning, I overheard the sleepy neighbour informing his “jogging partner” (who strolls rather than jog), that they had watched a Dharmendra movie, late into the night. Understanding dawned, as I remembered some words, quintessentially Dharmendra, uttered with a gnashing-teeth-clenched-fists-flaring-nostrils intensity, crashing through the paper-thin walls at night and falling into my ears — “Kuttey…kaminey…main tera khoon pi jaoonga”. Bless Dharmendra for sparing the poor ol’ gadha. At least, Garam Dharam did not express a wish to drink the donkey’s blood.

“The more I know people , the more I love my dog.”  Mark Twain whispered in my ear. I walked on, ears open to Mark Twain’s whispers. Patting the stray that had come bounding towards me, I smiled. Then together we bounded forth, both smiling at random things.

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About the Author

Santosh Bakaya ( 169 Posts)

Dr Santosh Bakaya is the author of three mystery novels for young adults, and a book of essays titled Flights From My Terrace, which was recently published as an e-book on Smashwords. Her poetic biography of Mahatma Gandhi, Ballad Of Bapu has been published by Vitasta Publishers, Delhi, India in May 2015 and has been receiving rave reviews from everywhere. Although a Political theorist, with a doctorate in political theory, it is literature which has been her first love. She was awarded the Reuel international award for language and literature 2014 for her long poem Oh Hark!, which forms part of the Significant Anthology. Many of her poems have figured in the highly commended category in Destiny Poets, a UK based website and many are part of international anthologies. Right now, she is giving the final touches to her satirical novel, tentatively titled Sanakpur Shenanigans.
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